What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

A Researcher Figured Out How to Reveal Any Phone Number Linked to a Google Account - WIRED

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

There’s a Fascinating Hidden Reason That So Many High-Earning Tech Workers Are Getting Laid Off Now - futurism.com

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

To prevent blackouts, Trump administration keeps another aging power plant online through summer - AP News

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

That whole wheat bread you've been eating is often a trap - it's not what you think it is - Earth.com

Make Nazis afraid again!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Scientists Uncover “Alien” Chemistry Under Earth’s Largest Lithium Deposits - SciTechDaily

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What was your biggest culture shock going to Europe?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Column | Phil Mickelson’s legacy: Helping pro golfers and diminishing pro golf - The Washington Post

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What is the dirtiest thing you have allowed your husband to do?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why is the band Nickelback unliked so much?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

TEXT:

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!